GoD iS So vEry GoOd...

...thats all

tRisTe

this means sad in espanol. originally, the title posted was cansada but upon further reflection i thought i should double check that translation, for its been awhile since ive brushed up on my spanish. good thing i did so as cansada means tired which is not the word i was going for. i was looking for sad, as tonite, i am sad. and thus, the introduction to this blog: triste (sad).

tonite marks the end to nearly half a decade spent with jack, our yellow lab. aww, jack. i wouldn't honestly say hes been a good dog. faithful, yes. companion, yes. energetic, yes. good, not so much. and this isnt jacks fault altogether, id like to blame some of it on his breed. labs are crazy, pure and simple. they need room to run, owners to walk, and an original onslaught of discipline to set them on the right course. jack has had none of that for awhile so taken this and the fact that he is a lab, disaster seems to strike all too often. i have so struggled with this decision, and in saying this, i mean its been a good 3 years of should i keep him or shouldn't i? however every time i ponder this question i think futuristically in that he has got to calm down someday. yet, how many years am i going to continue to ponder this question which seemingly yields the same results year after year? jacks not going to calm down and to his credit, its not really his fault. and so, ive had to come to terms with reality and have made decisions accordingly. i just cant deal with him anymore. i take that back, i could deal with him, however id have to get rid of joey and thats just not an option. and so jacks out. and i wallow in a little guilt yet in alot of relief at the thought of having this stressor out of my life. and God takes care of even these little details in life as jack is being taken by my (ex?) in-laws. so, not only will he be going to a good home, but he will also be able to be visited by joey, which was a crucial determinant in this whole decision making processo (yes, that was spanish again). and so, i believe triste is completely indicative of my mood at the present moment as tonite is my last night with jack. i will miss him ever so much(at times) because hes been a great dog and its a very sad thing to have to leave soemthing you love. however, i will leave it at that for if i begin to list all of the reasons that have led me to this decision, i will no longer be triste, i will be loco and that doesnt need to happen on his last night here...

siGn of Old AgE?

i believe i've received proof that attests to the fact that i am officially old, or at least am past the point of birthdays being exciting, long anticipated events. this is how i know: last night my mom watched joey for me while i was at small group. i came home and she had cleaned my bathroom, mopped my floors, and was just finishing a general cleaning of the house. you really have no idea how excited this made me. no, im serious, i could not think of a better birthday present then this! so... after deeper reflection into this matter, ive determined that this situation is a pretty good indication that i am slowly, yet ever so surely getting old. no longer are the gifts, cakes, and dinners what i want for my annual celebration of birth. nope, after last night i realized that there is something out there which is so much more exciting to receive as a birthday gift: a clean house (with no efforts of my own). thats pathetic, albeit reality. here's to old age:)

siSteRs?!

this time last year i remember writing, rather posting, about the upcoming birth of my little sister. nearly a year later, im amazed at how much i love her. not that i didnt think id love her this time last year, i just thought it be kind of like an aunt/niece type of relationship which logistically i guess it is, but in some crazy, surreal way, i love her in this odd, sisterly-type of love. this next week we (the sisters..) will both be celebrating birthdays. allie will be one on tuesday, i will be 27 on thursday(although im still well aware of the fact that i look nearly a decade younger). i am rather split as to how i feel about turning yet another year older. at first thought, i panic, just a little. only because even though 27 is far from old, it seems like at 27 you should have your life together. and i dont have my life together. however, i have learned that the only way to truly have your life together is in admitting that you don't and can't have your life together without the infusion of the Gospel, so therefore i guess in a sense i do have my life together:) after the tinge of panic subsides, i feel a true sense of gratitude when i think about my 27th birthday. holy cow, ive got so freaking much to be thankful for, i dont even know where id start. and while id never have thought that id be where i am at this point in my life, i cant honestly say that id change any of it. only because i can see this thread thats been threaded(for lack of a better word) throughout my entire life and at times i can see glimpses of the bigger picture God is working on. taking any little part out, it wouldnt work and so i dont think id change a thing. and an even bigger reason as to why im grateful for this 27th year is because now ive got this little sis with which i can impart all of this real life knowledge. its different from being a parent, although kind of the same i guess. the same in that you love this little one so so much that you take wisdom you've learned in your life and try your very hardest to impart it to them in hopes that they won't have to hurt in ways you've hurt. but its different in that im in a much cooler position to impart this wisdom as i am her sister and not her mom. that ranks when it comes to listening. i ramble, but i guess my point is that ive fallen in love with allie and i pray that the 26 years ive got on her will benefit her in some way...