mY beauTiful MesS

29 August 2008


first of all, props to the fact that this is my second post in a mere 48 hours. what is up with that? actually it probably has everything to do with the fact that i should be working on my resume but have found something much less productive to spend my time doing. thats just the way i roll. however i do feel the compulsion to share the hope that continues to overflow (albeit in waves but nevertheless tonight) and so, i share....i just got back from Celebrate REcovery. celebrate recovery is a Christian 12 step program that i have been attending for almost a year and a half. and its a very beautiful thing. it is a program that based itself on the 12 steps from AA yet placed its foundation solely on Christ. i go to it every thursday night and while at first was skeptical to even admit this to anyone, my perspective has been transformed into the realization that each and every Christian might benefit from attending a program such as this. and this is matter our struggles as Christians, we each have the tendency to be drawn to something other than Jesus with which to feel good about ourselves or to deal with the struggles that this life and sin and brokenness brings. for some of us, it may look good on the outside, perhaps even down right "CHristian" but if we are honest, truly honest, we can realize that at times we all struggle to embrace Christ only as our Savior. this group, for me and for my life, has provided a beautiful picture of grace. it is a refuge where sinful, broken people can come and admit freely their sin and their brokenness. the size of the sin doesn't matter (even though we as humans are quick to categorize the degree of sin in our own minds). neither does the length of time the sin has been struggled with. all that matters in this group is the awareness of sin and how it is impossible for any of us to fix it by relying on our own devices. and this is where the beauty is portrayed each and every week. Jesus is lifted up and acknowledged as not only Savior and Provider but as Healer and Forgiver. this is what life, at its core, is about. Jesus. thats it. its simple yet profound. He's beautiful and yet the beauty of His love and sacrifice can only be found as we, as I, live out of the brokenness that is myself when I attempt to live without Him. when i first started going to this group, i felt like i was just one of those people who had hard core sin issues that needed a place like this for support. yet as i've grown in my realizations about Christ and life, i feel like this is where all of us should be living as Christians. not that we all have to go out and be a part of some type of 12 step Christian group (although it wouldn't hurt anything, in my opinion) but we do need to live out of this brokenness. i have felt and seen the power and healing that comes from admitting sin and handing it over to Christ each and every thursday night that i have attended these meetings. and even in the growth that has resulted in my life, I feel an even greater need to stay in this group. not for some chance that i will be healed of my sin once and for all by the attendance of some meeting, but for the mere fact that i need not ever forget my utter brokenness nor the beauty of Christ's love for us, for sinners. it is raw and it is painful to dig deep and admit my powerlessness to control my tendencies towards sin, yet its rewards are amazingly clear... Jesus is power and love and healing and this, my friends, is a very good thing....


Blogger Laura Caudill said...

You are so right. So many of us are quick to confess our sins to Jesus and then move right on, without sharing and growing with each other in our brokenness. It's like we don't want to admit to others that we are as messed up as we are! How freeing it must feel to have a place to bare our darkest, most sinful hearts to each other and then celebrate Jesus' awesome healing power together, as He meant us to.

1:37 PM  

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