eXPosUre

ive been thinking alot lately about being exposed. it is a very good thing in so many situations. for instance, jobs. you get the right exposure, do your thing, you move up. exposure in sports...same deal, you get seen, you meet people, success comes. and yet when exposure happens at a deeper, personal level, it can suck. i dont really want people to know me, at the deepest levels of who i am, cuz its ugly and its so much better to hide it all. i think for me, the last 5 or 6 years have been so incredibly easy to get away with hiding behind this facade which inhibits exposure. theres been a great force in my life that has seemingly been able to cast a shadow over me and has enabled me to hide the crap. well, God's removed this shadow and ive been cast into the light. it ain't pretty. it can seem pretty for awhile, but having nobody to hide behind anymore, that prettiness does not last long. thus, ive been exposed. and initially it sucks. everybody wants people to think they've got their stuff together, well perhaps not everybody but i do. then the truth comes out and the demise is shattered. its exposure at its finest and it starts to seem like exposure in and of itself is overrated. yet im beginning to realize that this ugliness revealed, that true life exposed is what has the potential to bring about even more freedom then ive already experienced. note that i said im beginning to realize this, its not a done deal yet, and i could still potentially take this statement back completely. there is grace though even when those ugly, ugly hidden parts of us seep out into the surface. i see the potential for good things, very good things. i will keep you posted as im thinking i may eventually conclude that even this deepest facet of exposure is ultimatly good as well...

poTentiAL

joey was given full reign in decorating magna's cake this year. and its a beaut. i really think he may have a future in cake decoration. the whole glob technique, it works.

a mOnth??

i only realized upon logging on that it has been nearly a month since i last posted. my apologies. im still trying to figure out how a whole month has gone by, wierd. anyways, today was Joey's end of the year preschool extraveganza at the local park. it was utter chaos as kids were just running rampant all over the place. definently a success though as an open area to run and be goofy is really all that a four year old could possibly want. a month or so ago Joey started talking about, ever so nonchalantly, this certain girl at school who he confided in me to be his "special friend." weeks passed with her name being brought up every so often and then he started talking marriage, which i felt was a little premature. we talked that out and after i further explained that he could not marry me either(as apparently i was his second choice..) he seemed fine with leaving the relationship status quo, simply as classmates and friends. well today, i found him to be still a little smitten as is evidenced in the picture above...this is new ground in the whole parenting thing as i thought that the whole boy/girl thing had its onset at a much later age. apparently, i was wrong...