iT neVer RaiNS, yeT alWayS pOuRS

does anyone else ever feel this way? i certainly have my days where i definently lean in this direction more then the other, and today is one of them. i'm trying to figure out what seems to be the difference amongst us all in relation to stress levels and the inducing factors which bring it on. there has got to be some rhyme or reason as to why some people float through life in this little bubble and consider it traumatic when they encounter a hangnail while others, such as myself, seem to attract stress. there is certainly a difference to be made here. there are what i refer to as drama-seekers who can find drama in any circumstance known to man. there is also the category of people who can't seem to escape from drama, no matter how they may seek shelter from its all-encompassing scope. and this is why it always feels like its pouring. for it is. there is always something waiting just around the corner. in the midst of a moment which may seem tranquil and "normal" if you will, one must know that in reality, they are probably only experiencing the eye of the most current storm and that chaos is only moments away from imparting its stressful scenarios back into their lives once again. i guess maybe this keeps life interesting... im looking for a positive spin on this one, and im sure to have one tomorrow as i don't typically stay trapped in this mindset for long. but for now, it pours.

anNoyiNG

i am very annoyed right now. frustrated and annoyed. ok, the background: im in this theology class (yes, another one. they are required, if you're wondering..) and we've got these discussion boards we're required to participate in. no big deal. we read these articles, critique them and give our own personal conclusions and then its open discussion. well our last article was on hell which really is not even pertinent to the story other then it gives you an idea of the context of which we were discussing. so, im reading this post by this guy who is going on and on about these experiences he's had regarding the entire concept of hell. they began in his childhood sunday school classes where the teacher basically used this fear-technique in trying to get children to respond to accepting Christ by teaching the atrocities of hell. then he talked about this sermon he'd heard and i wont mention any names but it was preached(?) by the founder of Liberty University...any guesses? now, i speak from second-hand knowledge, i wasn't there and therefore did not physically HEAR what was said, but from the sounds of it, it was a grown up version of this guy's earlier sunday school experience. this is what annoys me. i feel as if certain churches, predominatly one's in the South, since this is where i was raised and hence have formed my opinion, try to portray Christianity as this ticket to get out of the fire and brimstone known as hell. they try to scare people (as well as little people) into believing in Christ. this disturbs me. primarily because grace is such a good thing. its transforming in and of itself, there is no need for scare tactics to "trick" people into believing this good news. secondly, this gives Christians a bad name. certainly hell is a real place and our hearts should be in a position that want to save others from its reality. yet true belief is only going to be accomplished in others who've experienced love, not experienced fear. and maybe this is a misread on my part. i am just personally opposed to this way of getting people into the realm of Christ's love. opposed and annoyed.

gLuttoNy...

guilty. there are specific times of the year where i admit i am a downright glutton. ok, well if we're being honest there are probably a couple days a month where i could be categorized as being this way, but these can all be blamed on hormones. but, there are certain times of the year where i dive right into the practice of gorging myself to the point of wanting to puke. and these little episodes typically surround very specific food objects, usually somehow tied to a certain holiday or celebration. for example, valentine's day. those little conversational hearts somehow woo me until i've eaten like 3 bags and my teeth seem like they've rotted overnight. Christmas brings all kinds of delicacies with it of which i am well aware of my inability to turn any of them down. but hands down, my biggest downfall regarding tasty tempations has recently landed in stores everywhere. mini cadbury eggs. for those of you who are not aware of these scrumptious little treats, they are not what might come to mind. they do not contain that creamy, milky middle that their bigger counterparts do. oh no, they are much better. so, they have this like candy shell filled wiht milk chocolate. thats it. simple. yet incredible. and i can't handle them, at least with any bit of self control. i am usually able to ward off temptation until about a week or so before Easter actually comes, and then at least i know they'll be off the store shelves before i can do major damage. yet this year could be ugly. a friend, knowing my love for these tasty treats, picked me up a bag while doing her latest grocery shopping. good intentions. bad idea. ok, so its feb. 25th. i believe easter is apr. 8. lets do the math, and this doesn't add up to paint a pretty picture. ive had my first bag of mini cadbury eggs for less then 5 hours, and they are nearly halfway gone. an intervention may be in my near future, i may well need one.

LeT's bLog, sHall We?

after taking a little vacay, or something like that, from the world of blogging, i was approached on two seperate occasions today by two seperate people who encouraged the rebirth of 'my beautiful mess.' after the first recommendation i realized that i'd just plain forgotten about the blog and all that it entails and that re-connecting to it might be a good idea, as well as another excellent source of procrastination when ive got something pertinent due for school. the second mention of my negligence in posting here re-lit the passion that i once held for this little project of mine. ok, so passion is an overstatement, but i did decide to re-commit myself to writing here every once in awhile. no promises, this may be the only post for the next 3 months or you may get a an onslaught of them. who knows? my life is certainly still beautiful, but indeed messy and therefore i make no predictions. but im here, right now and thus, i blog. i have some more things to say, but i will carry them into seperate posts, so it looks like i've not been as negligent as in fact i have:) thats it.