i cAnt dO iT

i have certain days where the weight of responsibility to raise a little boy into a Godly man seems to overwhelm me. to be entirely honest, there are days (seemingly tied to hormones for they come every month at just about the same time) where all of life's responsibilities seem inconquerable yet ive learned this is just a little emotional cycle that i go through and usually am able to wait it out until things return to being bearable, which they always do. yet the task of trying to raise a son to love God, to respect people, to love his neighbors, to not burp and explode in laughter and ask everyone within earshot if theyve heard him, to sit quietly and respectfully in church, to not cheat, to protect his loved ones, to share, to embrace purity, to forgive, to understand grace, etc... of these, i find myself apprehensive of nearly every day. how can i, not even being a man myself and certainly not understanding why they are the way that they are (at times) raise one of them and do it successfully? i think that ive found the answer to my question: i can't. im merely human and completely underqualified for the task at hand. yet, i believe that Joey will become a Godly man because i have faith in the God who created him and His power is great, so great in fact that it will overcome any and all weaknesses in me (of which there are way too many to count). i alone am incapable of this great task, yet God has asked that we trust Him to fill our voids. i do have days, many in fact, where i feel like this uphill journey has gotten the best of me. but i cant lose faith in my God who's power is made perfect in my weakness. i can't lose faith for myself, but also for the little life entrusted to me. my faith in this situation is my greatest weapon as i can't do it. thank God though that He can...