i WaNT tO: dETest...

Proverbs 15:9

"The Lord detests the way of the wicked but He loves those who pursue righteousness."

i struggle to align my heart completely with this verse. hypothetically, i concur. yet in reality, im not quite there. dont get me wrong, there is wicked out there that makes me want to puke. the grotesque stuff that you hear on the news and cant get out of your mind. i have no problem detesting those atrocitites. and yet wickedness comes dressed up sometimes. it comes looking like things that dont seem so wicked but instead entice and promise a good time. i want to detest this camo'd wickedness, but my hearts not in it at all times. i pursue righteousness (sometimes) not because i want to but because im called to. down deep, i know that the ways of the wicked won't bring the fulfillment that they seem capable of supplying. in most cases, i know this from past personal experiences. and yet they woo all the same. same empty enticements. same fleeting temptations. same desire to give in on my part. and thus, i yearn to detest. i want to detest these things so that i dont even need to waste time in weighing my options when wickedness rears its tempting cries. yet until this detestment occurs, i will attempt continuing in righteousness even when my heart may yearn (on a surface level) for something else. for this is what we're called to and my guess is that the One who has called us to do so is more then capable of catching a heart up to the head as one seeks to fulfill His will...